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Fight Your Way lớn a Better Marriage: How Healthy Conflict Can Take You lớn Deeper Levels of Intimacy Paperback – Import, 2 July 2013
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Based on years of counseling, research, & success stories, Dr. Greg Smalley teaches us how lớn use marital conflict as a way to lớn deepen và strengthen our relationships.In this counterintuitive book, tác giả Dr. Greg Smalley maintains that fighting is actually good for a marriage. When couples fight, they have the opportunity khổng lồ get to lớn the real issue that is lurking below the surface of fights about money, sex, in-laws, kids, etc. And that real issue, Dr. Smalley says, is fear—fear of rejection, inadequacy, or powerlessness, lớn name a few. What assuages these fears are things lượt thích intimacy, respect, validation, love, & connection. Learning to take advantage of the opportunity that conflict provides is what this book is all about. The good news of Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage is that conflict—when handled correctly—is the doorway to lớn intimacy & understanding. As Dr. Smalley leads readers through the many faces of conflict, he is xuất hiện and candid about his own marriage và the unproductive fights he và his wife have had. He uses his fears và emotional triggers as examples to lớn help readers discover their own. Couples will learn how to fight their way to lớn a better marriage, using the skills, concepts, & exercises shared in this remarkable book.
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A group of four childhood friends go through ups và downs as they chase their dreams. From the young woman that wants khổng lồ be an announcer, khổng lồ the young man who decides khổng lồ get back into MMA fighting & give it his all, each character must face adversity as they strive for success.


A group of four childhood friends go through ups và downs as they chase their dreams. From the young woman that wants to be an announcer, to lớn the young man who decides to get back into MMA fighting and give it his all, each character must face adversity as they strive for success.


Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 11 Episode 12 Episode 13 Episode 14 Episode 15 Episode 16 (Final)

Fight My Way: Episode 16 (Final)

by Lolly
Pip

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Despite all of the many loose ends this final episode needs khổng lồ tie up, it manages to vày so nearly perfectly. Somehow all the questions are answered, & the Fantastic Four can look forward to their new futures armed with a deeper maturity and understanding of themselves. But wherever the world takes them, they will know that no matter what, they live life their own way.

Round 16: “Neverending My Way”

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It’s 1996, và Ae-ra, Dong-man, and Seol-hee climb onto a ride at an amusement park. Dong-man complains that he’s scared in a seat by himself, & then a burly little boy jumps into Dong-man’s seat. His mother calls out, “Joo-man, look here!” & snaps a picture of the four children who have no idea that someday, they’ll all be best friends & more.

Back in the present, Ae-ra helps Seol-hee pack up some orders of her plum wine & asks why she’s making wine when she doesn’t even drink. Seol-hee says that everyone in her life drinks a lot, và grows happier when they do.

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She says sadly that she misses the four of them drinking at Namil Bar on the roof and eating breakfast together. Ae-ra barks that one of them shot himself in the foot and the other ran off khổng lồ fight, then she growls Joo-man’s name & throws a box at the ceiling. HA.

Upstairs, Dong-man finds Joo-man making mountains of kimbap in a frilly pink apron, claiming that he’s starting a lunchbox business. He takes a lunchbox down to Seol-hee’s doorstep, saying that he’s going to provide all her meals, & Dong-man complains that he’s making him look bad. Apparently Joo-man missed the entire drama of Dong-man and Ae-ra dating then breaking up, và he asks if Dong-man is sure he didn’t imagine it, hee.

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The girls come outside & wow, that’s a lot of eye-rolling going on between Ae-ra & Dong-man. Ae-ra tells Joo-man khổng lồ quit leaving lunches, & he says it’s between him and Seol-hee. He pulls Seol-hee aside khổng lồ talk and shows her the new car he bought recently, asking if she wants khổng lồ carpool.

Aw, sweet, he’s decorated the entire inside with pink accessories, but Seol-hee refuses the offer. When she sees him muck up his attempt khổng lồ drive in reverse though, she takes pity on him and gets behind the wheel. She even executes the sexy hand-on-the-back-of-the-seat reverse maneuver perfectly. It’s dễ thương how impressed Joo-man is by her driving.

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Dong-man hangs back to lớn help Ae-ra with some boxes, then he asks her how she’s so okay, only two weeks after their breakup. He says that he’s not okay, because he feels exactly the same about her as he did before: “When I see you, I want to hold your hand và take you home.” Ae-ra asks if they can’t even talk, but he tells her that he can’t handle it, so unless she plans to lớn get back together, then he’d rather she didn’t speak to lớn him.

Needing her soup pot back, Ae-ra takes some vegetables up lớn Landlady Hwang’s apartment. Landlady Hwang complains that Ae-ra is always coming over unannounced, and when she asks what the vegetables are for, Ae-ra asks if she has cancer.

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Landlady Hwang gets sassy about Ae-ra prying, but she says that she had breast cancer & is fully recovered now. Ae-ra wanders khổng lồ the air conditioner to lớn cool off, and she spots a stuffed animal in the corner of the room that looks very familiar. It triggers a memory of herself stomping trang chủ from school, angry that so much of her schoolwork had to vày with mothers.

She’d asked her father why she was the only kid without a mom, demanding that he produce one immediately. Her father had told her that her mother died, but Ae-ra said that she heard her mother got kicked out. Her dad had insisted she died, so Ae-ra pulled out a box of things she made in school for her mother & told him khổng lồ throw it out.

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In the box was the stuffed critter that Ae-ra finds at Landlady Hwang’s house. Everything clicks into place when she squeezes it và her own voice calls out, “I love you, I love you! Ae-ra says she loves Mom!” Ae-ra turns lớn Landlady Hwang và asks accusingly, “Ajumma, who are you?”

Landlady Hwang stops her from leaving, promising breathlessly to explain everything. In shock, Ae-ra says that it’s strange how she would understand if her mother had died, but it’s upsetting to see her alive and beautiful. Landlady Hwang says that she didn’t leave, not lượt thích Ae-ra thinks, but Ae-ra cries that it’s unfair that she didn’t watch over her as a mother, but now she watches her in secret.

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Crying, Landlady Hwang gasps that she just missed Ae-ra so much. Ae-ra says that she feels lượt thích she was thrown away, then she collects herself & tells Landlady Hwang that she doesn’t want to see her.

Dong-man finally eats some of the porridge that Ae-ra made while he was sick, grumbling that she shouldn’t cook for him if she’s just going to lớn break up with him. He seems surprised by the taste, but his doorbell distracts him, và he’s taken aback to find Hye-ran on his doorstep.

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She hands him a container of porridge that Ae-ra had given her, claiming that she made too much. Hye-ran tells Dong-man that it’s the same porridge Ae-ra made when he went to lớn the army, which Dong-man had always thought was from Hye-ran.

Now Hye-ran confesses that it was Ae-ra who made the porridge và waited for him to lớn come home, và that she’d also convinced Hye-ran not to lớn come back lớn him just before she got married. We see Ae-ra stopping Hye-ran from knocking on his door the night before her wedding, saying that Dong-man wasn’t calculating about his love lượt thích she was, and if she shook him up that night và got married the next morning, Dong-man wouldn’t survive.

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In a montage of flashbacks, we see Ae-ra pushing her way into Dong-man’s place after Hye-ran left him, claiming that her heater was broken. She’d snored on the floor while Dong-man complained, only we see that she was faking her snores, hee.

She continued to bug him at every opportunity, cooking for him and even checking on him when he was in the bathroom. Once she went lớn his place to lớn find him passed out next to a bottle of pills, and she’d panicked at his racing heartbeat. He’d finally popped up & said it was just medicine for the indigestion she’s giving him with all the food, ha.

He said that he knew her heater wasn’t broken, và that he knew she was just hanging around because she was afraid he was going khổng lồ kill himself. Ae-ra insisted that her heater was broken, but Dong-man was all, “It’s summer.” HAHA. He whined that he actually started gaining weight after being dumped, thanks to lớn her.

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Now Hye-ran apologizes for getting between them, & she tells Dong-man not to đại bại Ae-ra. “A dummy lượt thích you needs a dummy lượt thích her,” she says with a smile.

At work, Joo-man hears that he’s up for a promotion again. Excited, he runs khổng lồ the copy room for a happy dance, only khổng lồ find another doe-eyed intern pouting up at him next khổng lồ the broken copier, face smudged with ink. But this time he’s all business as he tells her to stand, then shows her how to lớn fix it herself. Hey, the boy learns!

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Later Seol-hee’s quái thú pulls her aside khổng lồ tell her that she’s been passed over for a full-time position. Seol-hee hands her a resignation letter, but she says that she’s not quitting out of anger, but because her plum wine is selling so well she’s decided to vày it full-time. Her quái nhân is ecstatic for her, & urges Seol-hee khổng lồ sell her wine on their trang chủ shopping network someday & give the managers a hard time.

Nam-il arrives home to find Landlady Hwang despondent, & she says she wants to get her flip phone back. Tears slipping down her face, she adds sadly, “Let’s go back to lớn Japan.”

Nam-il goes khổng lồ Coach Hwang for the phone, và he asks if there are valuable documents on it. Coach Hwang tells him that the password is Landlady Hwang’s son và daughter’s birthdays, & that the phone contains the will she made when she had cancer. When he’s alone, Nam-il opens the phone to find it full of pictures of Ae-ra as a child… but there are just as many photos of himself there (and aww, I recognize that last one), proving how much Landlady Hwang loves him.

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Nam-il takes the phone khổng lồ Ae-ra, telling her that their mother never left Ae-ra for a moment. She looks through the pictures as she takes a bus to see her father, và when she gets trang chủ she demands some answers.

Dad tells Ae-ra that her mother came khổng lồ all of her school events in disguise, & that his own mother treated her horribly. He says that she sent most of her income trang chủ for Ae-ra, enough khổng lồ send her to lớn college and pay for all of her youthful indiscretions, at least until her business failed.

As she heads home, Ae-ra changes the tương tác in her phone for “Landlady” lớn “Mom.”

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Dong-man hops off a bus và grabs Ae-ra’s bag, and he guesses right away that a trip to Dad means she figured out that Landlady Hwang is her mother. He tells her to lớn wait & not lớn date, just for two months, though she snaps defiantly that she’s going khổng lồ go clubbing, heh.

In voiceover, Dong-man tells us that for a while, they all went their own ways. Ae-ra becomes even more outspoken in her new career, refusing to wear skimpy outfits và standing her ground, while Seol-hee’s plum wine business takes off. Joo-man continues apologizing lớn Seol-hee with food và stuffed animals, until her side of the apartment is overflowing with dolls.

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Dong-man trains like a beast, & John continues khổng lồ refuse khổng lồ let him tap out (“We ain’t got time for tap!” LOL). He tells Dong-man that he only has two months to lớn learn three finishing moves, though he only needs one move lớn win.

Quite the kiss-up these days, Joo-man takes a birthday gift to Seol-hee’s father. But then he’s terrified by the arrival of Seol-hee’s two massive brothers, who stare down at him and demand lớn know why he’s here. When Seol-hee arrives, he smiles like he’s scared to lớn death, hee.

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Nam-il serves Landlady Hwang his new chicken recipe, pouting that he thought there was something really important on that phone và complaining that she made him look bad. She reminds him of how they met when he was fifteen và he picked her pocket.

He tears up as she says that the Korean orphan alone in nhật bản reminded her of the daughter she couldn’t raise. She tells him that he wasn’t a replacement, but her son, và that she’s lived for him since she met him. “I didn’t save you. You were the one who saved me,” she says, và she chides him for thinking that she’d throw him away when she’d found Ae-ra.

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Choked up, he asks if she’s trying to lớn make him cry. He admits that she’s all he has, so of course he feels jealous, and she asks affectionately if he’s going to lớn ever grow up. Nam-il says that he’s going back to nhật bản alone, since he’s had her for fourteen years and now it’s Ae-ra’s turn.

Seol-hee is annoyed at Joo-man, who lies on the floor moaning in pain from eating too much at her father’s birthday party. Looking for any excuse, Joo-man whines about the sore burned spot on his back, only to lớn have Seol-hee smack him và call for her scary oppas.

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Worried about his upcoming rematch with Dong-man, Tak-soo whines at Coach Choi khổng lồ come back and train him. Coach Choi asks if he plans khổng lồ bribe or cheat this time, but Tak-soo promises that if Coach Choi helps him, he’ll fight fair.

Two months pass quickly, and soon it’s time to lớn send John home. He apologizes for being so hard on Dong-man, but Dong-man only understands the word “sorry” and says that all he feels is thankful. He says, “See you again,” in his limited English, and John says that maybe soon they’ll meet in the ring. Coach Hwang hears “soon” & hands him a big bag of soondae, hee.

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Ae-ra has the honor of announcing the rematch, & everyone is in the audience—Dong-man and Ae-ra’s fathers, little sister Dong-hee, Joo-man and Seol-hee, and even Landlady Hwang. Dong-man is brought into the arena first, but instead of his usual theme song, Ae-ra is surprised when he enters to lớn the song she always sings for him.

Turning to lớn Coach Hwang, Dong-man says that he’ll only fight standing until the second round. Instead of arguing, Coach Hwang says khổng lồ forget his coaching và do whatever he wants. He tells Dong-man lớn look around and realize that just being here makes him a winner. But Dong-man says that he doesn’t like ambiguous endings, so if he’s going khổng lồ win, he wants lớn win properly & end this for good.

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Tak-soo enters the arena, và the fight begins. Ae-ra shuts her eyes tightly, & all she can hear is the pounding of fists against flesh as the two men fight. After a few seconds she resolutely opens her eyes & makes herself watch.

Interestingly enough, Dong-man & Tak-soo’s fight almost perfectly mirrors their last match. Dong-man throws Tak-soo to the floor where he lies there beckoning Dong-man to join him, but Dong-man stays on his feet. Tak-soo gets up and grabs Dong-man, crushing him lớn the fence.

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He tries lớn trip Dong-man, who fights hard to lớn keep on his feet. Tak-soo taunts him that he can’t fight on the floor, but this time instead of getting angry, Dong-man just thanks him for the show and says that he’ll start playing now.

He throws Tak-soo off, then just lượt thích last time, Tak-soo jumps up & wraps his legs around Dong-man’s middle. Again Dong-man flings him khổng lồ the mat, following him down and landing on đứng đầu of him. Dong-man lands several solid punches, then Tak-soo grabs him by the head & flips him over.

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He tries to get up, but Dong-man is too quick—he leaps onto Tak-soo’s back, grabbing him in a headlock so that Dong-man is stuck on his back lượt thích a turtle. He’s got Tak-soo in a death grip as he flips over on the mat, và Tak-soo can’t escape. They don’t budge, và the referee finally stops them and they break apart.

When the fight resumes, Tak-soo is losing control, & he swings at Dong-man wildly. He attempts Dong-man’s famous roundhouse kick, missing by a mile, và Dong-man tells him to vày it properly if he’s going to copy him. Then to make his point, he executes that exact kick, then follows it up with a reverse kick, knocking Tak-soo to lớn the mat. It’s a KO, và Dong-man is declared the winner.

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The arena bursts into wild applause as Dong-man sinks to his knees. His humiliating fight from ten years ago runs through his head, & all of his defeats since then at the hands of Tak-soo. With tears in his eyes, Dong-man raises his head and lets loose a triumphant roar.

There’s not a dry eye in the house as Ae-ra looks on with relief and both dads cry with pride. Dong-man’s mother, watching at home, wails that she’s going to break his legs lớn stop him from fighting. Even Hye-ran is watching the fight, and she says with a smile, “Why is he so cool? How annoying.”

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Dong-man presents Coach Hwang with the gold victor’s belt, grinning as Coach Hwang sobs và makes a big show of waving the belt around. Ae-ra nervously enters the ring to lớn interview Dong-man, và she gets choked up as she says that this victory was ten years in the making.

He thanks everyone who rooted for him as the crowd cheers. Ae-ra can’t even look at Dong-man as she congratulates him sincerely, trying khổng lồ hold back her tears.

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Everyone else exits the ring, but Dong-man grabs Ae-ra’s wrist before she can leave and asks why she’s crying again, because she shouldn’t care if her ex wins or loses. She snaps that they never should have dated.

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Dong-man says that he can’t live without her, but he can’t ask her khổng lồ take him back in case they break up again. So he suggests that they forget all about this dating and breaking up business. Ae-ra finally looks at him, wide-eyed, when he says, “Just live with me.”

Shocked, she asks if he’s asking her to lớn shack up, but Dong-man reminds her that he’s a simple guy: “If we kiss, we’re dating. If we live together, it’s marriage. Marry me.” OMG, he’s proposing!

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Ae-ra just sniffles at him as Dong-man says that for twenty years, he hasn’t been able to lớn live without her. So if he has to choose between never seeing her & seeing her every day, then he chooses lớn see her forever. Ae-ra asks him about MMA fighting, và he barks, annoyed, “You. You you you. It’s you! Even if I die, it has to lớn be you.”

Again he asks Ae-ra to marry him with the most adorable begging-puppy look on his face. Ae-ra just wails, “Why are you asking?!” which is all the answer he needs. Dong-man pulls her in for a hug as the arena erupts in applause all over again.

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Seol-hee lets Joo-man hold her hand, though she says it means nothing và she doesn’t forgive him. Joo-man just gives her a kiss on the cheek, & by the grin on his face I’d say the resulting beating was worth it. “I’ll be happy getting beat to lớn death for kissing you!” he blurts in between hits.

Sometime later, Dong-man stuffs wedding invitations while Ae-ra complains that he’s going to lớn ruin the wedding by rushing things. He says he has a plan, and Ae-ra coos sarcastically that he shouldn’t strain his weak little head by thinking, hee.

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Suspicious noises draw them upstairs lớn Joo-man’s apartment, where they find him innocently peeling plums for Seol-hee. With matching hands on hips, they ask accusingly why he’s peeling Seol-hee’s plums, và while Dong-man glares, Ae-ra roots around the apartment and finds Seol-hee hiding in a trunk, lol.

Ae-ra reminds Seol-hee of her own words that she wasn’t human if she got back together with Joo-man, & tells her lớn dump him and live an awesome life. Seol-hee tries và fails to insist that all they were doing was peeling plums, but she trails off when her excuses sound weak, & Joo-man hugs her and begs dramatically, “Just let us love each other!” Both Dong-man and Ae-ra send flying kicks in his direction.

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Later on the roof, Ae-ra & Landlady Hwang sit together awkwardly, & Ae-ra says casually that she’s going to start calling her “Mom.” She says it’s just manners, and Landlady Hwang looks lượt thích she could explode with happiness as she thanks Ae-ra for being polite, hee.

Ae-ra asks if she’s rich now, but she’s shocked when her mother tells her that she had three businesses fail, so the villa và store are heavily mortgaged. She reminds her daughter to lớn pay her rent on time, and Ae-ra sighs that she should have known, though her mom reminds her that she did buy the gym.

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Suddenly remembering, Ae-ra asks why she’s the “Nam-il” in Namil Villa. Her mother tells her that it was what they called her before she was born, and when Ae-ra asks what it means, her mom just says, “I have no idea,” with the guiltiest look on her face.

That night, Landlady Hwang gets sloppy drunk with Coach Hwang và tells him the truth—that Namil Expressway is where Ae-ra was… He assumes she’s going to say Ae-ra was born there, but she slurs happily that Ae-ra was conceived in a motel there, hee. Landlady Hwang changes the subject & suggests they open a soondae business together.

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Hye-ran decides to lớn move out, và she leaves Ae-ra a wedding envelope, wishing her happiness & congratulating her. She does tease that if she sees a way in, she’ll be back, but it comes across as a playful joke now.

Coach Hwang presents their grand plan lớn Ae-ra—that he và Dong-man will run the gym as a business together, and that Dong-man will only fight during the busy season. Ha, Dong-man growls that he wasn’t going to tell her that last part until after they registered their marriage.

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Ae-ra isn’t thrilled about having khổng lồ see Coach Hwang for the rest of her life, but Coach Hwang says that aside from his friendship with Dong-man, her mom sure thinks he’s cute. (Wait, did he just make a “your mom” joke? LOL.)

The four friends spend the night before the wedding drinking on the roof. Joo-man asks if Ae-ra will move into Dong-man’s place, but she grumbles that she doesn’t know because Dong-man has no plan. Dong-man argues that if they weren’t reckless, then she wouldn’t be an announcer, he wouldn’t be a fighter, Seol-hee wouldn’t be running her own business, & Joo-man wouldn’t have found his diaphragm. HA.

They toast khổng lồ their lives, lived their own way.

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Epilogue.

The friends wake the next morning, still on the roof. Ae-ra is flustered, and Dong-man says that she looks even uglier than usual today. She shrieks that she’s getting married today, but all three friends just ask if she met someone and why she’d want to get married.

Ae-ra wails, wondering if it was all a dream. Then Dong-man kisses her and says it’s dễ thương that she’s still drunk, looking forward to teasing her for the rest of his life.

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COMMENTS

Aw, I love that ending, even though it’s not at all what I expected. I was anticipating a wedding for Seol-hee and Joo-man, while Dong-man và Ae-ra continued dating, but this really makes more sense now that I think about it. Dong-man và Ae-ra already know everything there is to know about each other, so marriage is the next logical step, plus it’s just lượt thích Dong-man to want khổng lồ lock Ae-ra down so she can’t break up with him again. And Joo-man & Seol-hee are very different people now, so they need time to get lớn know each other all over again.

In general I’ve loved Fight My Way more than I ever expected to—it was smarter và more insightful than I generally require a rom-com lớn be (though I should have known by the cast, who have a tendency lớn pick great projects). I vì chưng have a few quibbles about the show, though none of them are really that serious. Mostly I wanted to lớn see more of the so-called Fantastic Four interacting, but we really never saw them all doing anything together besides the occasional drink on the roof. Given how little we saw of Joo-man và Seol-hee at all during nearly the entire first half of the drama, I think I would have cared more about their problems if we’d bonded with them as friends before diving right into their problems và their breakup.

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Other than that, và a few small issues lượt thích occasional awkward editing making it difficult to lớn figure out the timeline, I think that Fight My Way is one of the better-written rom-coms in recent years. Secrets weren’t telegraphed weeks before the truth was revealed, và situations were clearly phối up well in advance & teased in such a way that we didn’t realize we’d been teased until the right time. The characters were all well-developed & interesting, và even though they often did the same things we expect from rom-com characters, they didn’t just follow the script because dramaland laws say that this happens at this point in the story. They had reasoned, logical motivations for their actions, which really should be standard and not a plus, but when it works out so well, I have khổng lồ give credit where it’s due.

What I enjoyed most about Fight My Way was that it did one of my favorite things in a drama—its adult characters behaved lượt thích adults và spoke their minds. Ae-ra endeared herself khổng lồ me very early with her outspoken, bold personality. Dong-man took a bit longer khổng lồ show that side of himself, but when he did, the swoony moose more than made up for his initial fear of voicing his attraction lớn Ae-ra by telling her exactly what he wanted at all times. I loved how he complained about her holding him at arm’s length physically, while still being respectful of her nervousness… which, by the way, falls into what I mentioned earlier about characters having actual reasons for their behavior. Ae-ra wasn’t putting off a physical relationship because she was immature, but because she had a very real worry about changing the nature of their friendship to something they couldn’t come back from.

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Though the ending was a bit too perfect lớn be realistic, I am glad that Dong-man finally got to win in a fair fight with Tak-soo & take back his dignity. I always appreciated that Dong-man’s wish to lớn fight Tak-soo again was never about clearing his name or making Tak-soo admit he was wrong. It was only ever about Dong-man needing lớn prove that he could win in a fair fight against Tak-soo, and to redeem himself in his own heart and for his family, & he did that admirably. He worked hard, fought honorably, và now he can move on with his head held high—for himself.

I love these characters so much, và I’ll really miss them now that the show is over. I have khổng lồ mention how wonderful I think Kim Ji-won was as a leading lady—she did so well, I have a hard time remembering how she ever played villains. And Park Seo-joon may very well have just turned in his best performance yet, which only makes me look forward to his future career that much more. Dong-man & Ae-ra have definitely become one of my top drama couples, just for sheer honesty & openness with each other.

And so we send our Fantastic Four into their futures with the knowledge that sometimes, having the guts lớn live life your own way is all the growing up you need lớn do.

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